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  • Writer's pictureAnnelisa MacBean

Vessel of Light

No matter how things are going in your life, you can orient to your experience with mercy, grace, and a new sort of caring kindness.

The restlessness, the shakiness, the shattering rawness, the grief; these are all valid responses in a sensitive, tender nervous system, to a world where it’s not always easy to find our center of gravity and a felt, physical sense of safety. We cannot attend to future moments; the future is just not close enough, tactile enough, intimate enough. But we can surround and contain the achy-ness of life as it surges in the moment of here and now. For just one second, shift your attention from the claustrophobia and spinning of conditioned thinking to the soles of your feet as they make contact with the earth. Root there, into the mud . . . into the womb. It’s not really very safe in those old thought patterns . . . the grooves and channels of thinking that erode our sense of security and connectedness – thoughts that activate re-enactments of intergenerational trauma and trance. Allow your attention to come up out of the earth and infuse your belly, your heart, and your throat, with compassion, holding, and breath.

Make and regularly renew this vow: I will turn my attention and heart toward my embodied vulnerability. I will accept and engage my emotional experience, the somatic narrative, the story of my nervous system and experience the fullness of myself as I exist. DECLARE: My grief is REAL. My heartbreak is IMMENSE. My sensitivity is MAGNIFICENT. My tenderness makes me TENDER and LOVING. Not pathology, but path. Do it for two seconds. Then rest. Then three seconds. Rest again. Send breath into the broken shards, into the lost pieces of soul. With each breath, lay a new groove and new circuity is encoded. As we turn back to the light we ARE, lit pathways appear. Let the earth hold you; Let her share her soothing water, shade, breezes and light. You are of the earth, not separate from her. Find a friend, therapist, lover, ocean, moon, star, or holy roaring lion to bear witness as you turn into your raw alive somatic world. The seen and unseen ones are always here to help, to reveal the way home. Medicine in the form of plants and people can illuminate the pathways of darkness and of light. Love is seeking you, your body, as a tender vessel through which it can come alive here.



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