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  • Annelisa MacBean

Homecoming

Breathe slowly, deeply . . . allow yourself to take a series of breaths, letting your awareness drop out of thinking and thoughts and into the aliveness of your body. Drop into your heart and then into your belly: opening, sensing, listening.

Let your attention follow the movement of energy as it continues downward, settling at your feet… and just rest here for a few moments, noticing that you are supported and held by the earth. Allow these questions to enter your field of consciousness . . . "Is there a particular feeling that you’ll do just about anything to not feel? Something too raw, tender, or shaky to touch or be touched by?" "How have you set up your life so that you never have to feel this feeling?" Rather than thinking your way to an “answer” notice that you can open to the movement of the question in your conscious body . . . listen deeply, patiently; receive a response from deep within. Ah . . . Yes . . . That's right; the first thing you notice . . . It's simple, right there . . . just right there when you let your attention be drawn.


You may be noticing now that a lot of energy is required to stay out of or distracted from this quiet, embodied vulnerable knowing. This is one reason you may feel tired; not only your physical body; but your soul . . . a deep, soul-level exhaustion. What have you been turning away from over this last year? What would it be like if you opened your consciousness to these parts and feelings; opened to your body's messages; became a listening sanctuary for these parts of you to reveal themselves and communicate? When the feelings of anxiety or shame or need appear, these expressions are not coming to harm you or take you down, or interfere with your daily tasks, your success in your job or your marriage or your other endeavors . . . rather these feelings are harbingers of integration, forerunners of wholeness, intending to guide you into the depths of understanding and self-knowing . . . intending to bring you greater balance, peace and ease. These sensations and feelings are not always sweet and flowy and familiar. At times they are challenging, forceful, and seem to undermine the comfortable life we've created to avoid them! It's not easy to receive these feelings, to listen and follow them to their root or origin, but doing so always leads to love, to tenderness, to the heart, to healing. Ironically and paradoxically, the Love is revealed within the vessel of your own body, in that holy alchemical laboratory where attending to the anxiety or anger, following the heartache and the grief, listening to the arthritis or the headache reveals the unmet need. Resting in the state of need, without knowing what you need or creating any object of need, without defining any outcome that could relieve you of the need . . . this opens the body to the possibility of creativity, transformation and healing. How is the need state showing itself in your body? Can you take a few deep breaths, track your energy back down to your feet, follow the sensations of anxiety or migraines or relationship trauma through your nervous system, in your muscle tension, in your throat, belly and pelvis . . . notice that all these illnesses and isms you codify as problems in your life are communications from some unlived dimension of your life that is reaching out for your attention? Now . . . how will you tend to them?


In the coming year, stand frequently on the sand or the earth, barefoot and curious . . . breathe into your feet. Make a practice of noticing that the intimacy, connection, and aliveness you long for will never be found in an experience of partiality, in the practice of distancing yourself from your self, from your body.

The wholeness, confidence and fulfillment you seek will be found in your embodied participation in the full spectrum of your experience.


If you are stuck or confused or can't hear your body speaking to you, no worries. Register the need and ask for help; seek a therapist, shaman, coach or guide. We are all here to help each other come home to ourselves. Make a point of it this year. Come home. You are welcome here on this earth at this time and we miss you . . . we want you! Your homecoming is needed now more than ever, primarily for you . . . and we all benefit.


Happy New Year . . . Happy Homecoming. . . . Come . . . Come . . . Come home.



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