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  • annelisamacbeanphd

Light in Darkness

Periods of liminality and transition can contain a hidden opportunity for reunion with long lost or denied parts of our psyche, soma, soul . . . a group of friends and allies that can, often surprisingly, offer support in ways we've forgotten or never realized.

This “offering from the unconscious,” is a vital and necessary part of any journey of transformation, requiring that we come face to face with what we’re doing, how we're behaving, how we are affecting others, what’s most important to us, and how we’re going to make use of the sacred life energy we’ve been given.

As so many of us have experienced, there are times when things fall apart, our hearts break, old dreams fall away, and our lives just don’t turn out the way we thought they would. In one way or another, the status quo becomes disrupted and we find ourselves in unknown and shaky territory. 

We may even be surprised by unexpected experiences such as anxiety, depression, restlessness, and a profound loss of meaning.

The invitation in these moments is to find willingness. Desperate perhaps, to find equanimity and serenity, will you do whatever it takes? It takes stopping doing. It takes quieting and listening and head bowing and deep breathing. In a state of willing surrender, you can then collect the shattered and lost parts of yourself and assemble them around an altar where each one can be seen. Rest quietly in their collected presence and practice listening. Become even more quiet. Open your listening body. Open your inner eyes. Breathe. Rest. Wait.

From within the broken parts, radiating out of each and every one, a light is glowing, an ember found only there, a spark born of the friction and resistance and intensity of trying; trying to keep you safe, trying to keep you alive, trying to preserve your sense of identity and trying to persevere in the face of impossible odds . . . These parts have been trying, intending, fighting for your survival. Everything they have done and do is out of love for you.

To perceive and be touched by this light, we have to come down into the earth of the body. We must sense, feel, allow our bodies to unwind and ache open . . . and eventually surrender completely to the aching love of the parts assembled. The light of their love is what the ancient mystics and alchemists referred to as the lumen naturae. Touched by their presence we can be en-lightened. It is the great work of the heart, the alchemical opus that finds unique expression in each of us.

If we look and listen carefully - as we're waking up in the morning, falling asleep at night, out in nature, with a friend, or preparing a meal - we might see or hear or sense this light as it longs to make its way into our perception. 

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